Hmm... got the link from laiyi's blog, and added some personal thoughts.. HEE... http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001196.cfm thought i could give something to the curious.. haa.. since we've decided to do this as a couple blog! haa...!!!

Defining courting and dating
Courtship:
- "begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate"
- "Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal"

Dating:
- "begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more- than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority"
- "Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal"

My views:
- honestly, i started this relationship 8 yrs ago with the "may or may not have marriage as its goal" approach... haa..! :P (come on, i was only 14 lor..!)
- now, yea.. of cos im seeing this maturedly... hee...
- we decided to go out, but told our parents like within days of our decision, my mum was ok, billy's mum had some concerns but we still decide to go out... hmm....

Difference bw courtship and dating:
- man's motive - "he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct"

(so ask the man...)

- mindsets difference - "not self-centeredness that treats the whole process as ultimately about me 'Will this person make me happy? Will this relationship meet my needs? How does she look? What is the chemistry like?' "

(yup, i def not in this like a korean drama princess who is all about the ME!)

- methods - "In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy." And not just physical intimacy, includes emotional intimacy too. such that u are not each other sole emotional confidantes, dun share like every deepest secrets and desires, dun become overly private. "The man should take care not to treat any woman like his wife who is not his wife" but "treat all young women (includes the girlfren) to whom he is not married as sisters, with absolute purity. The man should show leadership and willingness to bear the risk of rejection by defining the nature and the pace of the relationship"

(i think in this sense i do share some deep thoughts or feelings i have abt some things to billy that i wldnt share to someone else.. but there are also things that i might tell like persis but not billy... haa.. so shld be still safe ba...)
(and yup, i dun treat him like a husband, cos tats the point of not marrying yet.. haa... and neither do i expect him to treat me as wife lor...)

so is our relationship biblical? i think yes ba.. haa.. YEAH!!!

the writer writes all these alot in the men's perspective, like the men has to be the one who leads the r'ship, i think billy def is the more giving and leading one amg us two.. (oh and he is always so sweet.. hee...) yea, and contrary to feminist ideas, i think this is an absolute loving picture... not that the girl is "useless" or whatever... like eve was created to be adam's helper, guys shld lead and girls shld help him be able to lead... :)

i've happened to be thinking abt what it really means to honour god in a r'ship.... and the reading ends nicely.. so i'll juz paste it here too...

"In all these ways, a biblical relationship looks different from a worldly relationship. If this is done well, Christian women will be honored, even as they are pursued. Christian wives will be honored. And God will be glorified."

may all u young readers (like soarers!) enjoy courtship biblically, maturedly, and pleasantly!!
Love Is In The Air!
Saturday, August 18, 200712:16 AM